


for now we see in a mirror, darkly

by Elisye



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Ambiguous Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Angst, Drabble, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Other, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Post-Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers, dares myself to write ambiguous speaking wol haha im in danger, written from graha's perspective bc thats how i Am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 20:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21151958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisye/pseuds/Elisye
Summary: Saviors inspire fearlessness. But they are not fearless figures.(or: the exarch, his inspiration, and the briefest exchange of their reflections.)





	for now we see in a mirror, darkly

**Author's Note:**

> breaks my writing hiatus bc i got way too deep into ffxiv even tho im not even done with ARR rip. i just wanna protect and love and cherish him, yknow????? sobs
> 
> the fic title - with specific parts presented and italicized for special emphasis uwu - comes from 1 Corinthians 13:  

> 
> * (4-7:) "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ... It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ... Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ... _It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres._"
> * (11:) "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. _When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me._"
> * (12:) "_For now we see in a mirror, darkly;_ but then face to face: now I know in part; but _then shall I know even as also I am fully known._"

A hand placed over the heart. A hand placed, overlapping, earth to earth, stone and blood.

Their brows furrow. A storm speaks in the silence breathed between the two of you. The Ocular, empty and idle as it is, seems to come to an immediate pause - the air stills, the light freezes. The tower’s magic abandons the room, and leaves nothing but the heart beating warmth.

Eventually, though, they give voice to one among a thousand doubts - “Were you not afraid?”

“…Much was at stake,” you reply, simply.

Their gaze falls for a moment. The answer is truthful, but not correct. Both of you know this.

“Even so.” The hand holding yours - it tightens, briefly. They mull over the storm, picking through words to weave and thoughts to convey. Poetics and persuasion are a delicate balance. “The weight of the world is an enormous one. The weight of its people, of their futures… just one star alone, is far too great for one pair of shoulders. I would know.”

Your free hand rises without thinking. You brush the side of their face, a comforting caress, hoping to do the same to the turmoil buried deep.

(History spoke:_ Against the overwhelming might of the Black Rose, the Warrior of Light fell. Thus arrived the Calamity that yet burns through our dying lands. Thus our world fell into despair. And thus, we realized, that our godslayer is no god themselves._

_For, even the sun must set, and life must end._

_The Warrior of Light was but a human—_)

(Just a human.)

“And as is with you, Raha.”

Your name, spoken soft, with a lingering hum of tears to come. Your ears press against your skull, distressed at your name, spoken so forlornly, at your beloved’s expression, cast into gloom. They will never let go of your unfeeling hand if they could. A part of you wishes as much - you cannot follow them through the light, into a past you willingly walked away from.

Duty, however, compels otherwise. As much as you do not voice it - as much you do not want to - a savior of any sort is not without responsibility. It is a lesson you have carried for a hundred years and more now.

So you simply tilt your head at them, unable to tell what sort of expression you might be making - the muscles in your face pull in a strange way, slow and taut, but not unfamiliar. “That is why I had to share the burden, my warrior.”

“You had to,” they repeat, numbly, eyes soon meeting in a piercing way - “That does not mean you never had reservations.”

You hesitate. That is enough.

They move to take both of your hands in theirs. They will not let go so easily. The storming silence continues to rage in your ears, sinking into the walls - even as they press a kiss to your crystal hand, a feather-light touch to refracted skin and gold veins, the smallest hint of reassurance in an aftermath that should feel settled, but at this very moment, feels so far from such.

“I’m sorry,” they whisper, whisper, pleading forgiveness for the sin they were nearly absolved of. “This never should have been your fate.”

You shake your head at them. “I chose this path of my own will. I chose to carry this fate for you, along with you. Do not apologize.”

“That is exactly why I must.” Eyes reuniting - “Because of me, my worries are yours. The same anxieties and devastation that always courts me, day and night. It is a particular suffering that I would never wish upon anyone, much less—”

“So it may be.”

You breathe, and cut into the stillness of the air. A moment’s surprise blinks back - you simply didn’t want to hear more, no more of those sad impressions. “But if it is such a wretched sin to love you so, then a sinner I shall gladly be. Not even the most gifted of orators can convince me otherwise.”

“You—” They wrestle with their words, biting their lower lip as anonymous arguments rise and fall in a faraway place. Soon, their eyes are squeezed shut - a difficult acceptance, a difficult reluctance, as they lean forward and the crown of your head meets theirs. The tired sigh that slips out, mixing with your own breath, concedes to you—for now.

This conversation is far from over, and meant to be far from this gentle compromise.

But for now - for now, while the two of you simply can - you just let your fingers slowly, gingerly lace between theirs, and savor the calm before the next storm.


End file.
